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Responsibility: Children assume responsibility for the abuse and blame themselves. A typical statement is: "if I had just been a good boy or girl…."
Anxiety: Children are constantly anxious and/or afraid in anticipation of the next abusive incident.
Transfer of Anxiety from Mother to Child: Children sense the fear and trauma that their mothers have experienced even if they can't verbalize these feelings. Children will express this anxiety in a variety of ways.
Guilt: Children think they should have been able to prevent the violence and feel guilty for not doing so.
Grief: When the mother leaves the abuser, the children may grieve over the "loss" of that parent and even the lifestyle they formerly lived.
Confusion: Children may not know how they feel or have two opposite emotions at the same time. This is difficult for them. They may love the abuser but hate what he is doing to their mom.
Fear of Abandonment: Children who have been separated from one of their parents because of the violent acts may be fearful that the other parent will also leave or die.
Need for Adult Attention: Children who have been traumatized require intense attention to minimize their fears. If they do not receive this attention, they may act out.
Lack of Trust: Children may have difficulty forming relationships. They may come to believe that violence is an inevitable or acceptable part of a relationship.
Aggressiveness/Passiveness: Children who witness violence in the home may become violent at school or in the community. Some children become overly passive and eager to please any adult.
Depression: Children may feel overwhelmed by the violence and hopeless about the future. In some cases, children become suicidal.
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